20060516
I hope no one has been disappointed by my infrequent postings. I would like to make sure you understand I plan to keep my PPW ratio (postings per week) down around .25. Please don't get worried if you haven't heard from me in a while.
I really don't understand why it's so difficult to find a place in this town with a decent cup of coffee AND a muffin that's slightly better than average. As if I don't already have enough to worry about, the least someone could do is open an establishment in which a cupcake with berries doesn't qualify as a muffin. Granted I've never really baked before, but how hard could it be? I've made a damn fine hot ham and cheese sandwich after drinking a couple six packs of High Life. I'll let that speak for itself.
In case any of you were worried that our Northern MN neighbors might not be getting enough sunlight exposure, you can breathe a sigh of relief. As I was passing through the neighborhood Conoco on my way through Virginia, MN this past weekend, I couldn't help but notice the entire end-cap of the main shopping aisle dedicated to a wide variety of sun tanning accoutrements. Apparently they've found enough time between shot-gunning a few of Hamm's and keeping up with the region's meth demand to indulge in a little sun worship. My first thought on sun bathing in Virginia would be, "why bother?". However, after recognizing the 1983 skin cancer poster child (and coincidently the 1991 Virginia High prom queen) working behind the checkout counter, I'm quite positive that with a lack of motivation to do anything except collecting unemployment checks and squeezing a fresh tube of coconut oil, there will be no shortage of brown Scandinavians in the Northland this summer.
As a final note for this "week", I wanted to comment on some of the speculation surrounding my choice in naming this blog. I am a liberator of pork.
I really don't understand why it's so difficult to find a place in this town with a decent cup of coffee AND a muffin that's slightly better than average. As if I don't already have enough to worry about, the least someone could do is open an establishment in which a cupcake with berries doesn't qualify as a muffin. Granted I've never really baked before, but how hard could it be? I've made a damn fine hot ham and cheese sandwich after drinking a couple six packs of High Life. I'll let that speak for itself.
In case any of you were worried that our Northern MN neighbors might not be getting enough sunlight exposure, you can breathe a sigh of relief. As I was passing through the neighborhood Conoco on my way through Virginia, MN this past weekend, I couldn't help but notice the entire end-cap of the main shopping aisle dedicated to a wide variety of sun tanning accoutrements. Apparently they've found enough time between shot-gunning a few of Hamm's and keeping up with the region's meth demand to indulge in a little sun worship. My first thought on sun bathing in Virginia would be, "why bother?". However, after recognizing the 1983 skin cancer poster child (and coincidently the 1991 Virginia High prom queen) working behind the checkout counter, I'm quite positive that with a lack of motivation to do anything except collecting unemployment checks and squeezing a fresh tube of coconut oil, there will be no shortage of brown Scandinavians in the Northland this summer.
As a final note for this "week", I wanted to comment on some of the speculation surrounding my choice in naming this blog. I am a liberator of pork.
posted by N. Fark at 7:31 PM
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